There are two givens, when you eat Chinese food.
1.) You're going to be hungry not long after you finish it.
2.) You're going to get a nugget of "wisdom" in the form of a fortune cookie.
I had Chinese for lunch today. Somehow the cookie fell off my desk, and I stepped on it on one of my many trips to and fro my office. I figured that this would spoil the fortune. Because, you know, they change when you mistreat them, I guess. But I decided to read it anyway. Here it is. (Warning: Nugget of wisdom ahead!)
You are always welcome in any gathering.
My first thought? Wow. This fortune cookie knows me!
Then I started to think of places where some may not be so welcome. Here's what I have so far.
-The Matchbox Man at a monastery
-A mime at a Toastmasters convention
-Your parents at the nudist colony you're "just visiting" for the weekend. Suuuure, we believe that one!
-Your old high school Trig teacher at a speed dating get together You know, the one that your friend dared you to go on. Yeah right.
-A relative of yours, on a match.com meeting with you. I guess you don't have to wonder why they didn't have a "recent picture" any more, do you?
-Ms. South Carolina at a geography bee. Or a spelling bee. Or anywhere near our nation's future leaders, period. Let's just put her away for safe keeping.
-A Vietnamese man, wearing an apron, at a dog shelter. (Oh come on, it was all in good fun. I could have said something about Chinese and cats. But I just ate Chinese. I'd rather not think about that, thanks.)
-A man with a black ski mask, behind you while you're standing in line at the bank.
-Simon Cowell at a self-help seminar.
It's far more fun to think of the places people (other people that is - not me. I, for one, am always welcome) may not be so welcomed than it is to think of how you're always welcome. And you are always welcome. Except at my place. That requires an appointment. And a couple background checks. Perhaps a security clearance from the CIA. Just don't stop by, let's leave it at that.
very cute :)
ReplyDeletewould love for your blog to eventually take a turn toward your serious thoughts on political issues....i know they say to stay away from the stuff, but you are a brilliant mind as well as a strong woman....with the tact to say what you think without self-righteously offending others (unless said others are hypersensitive and already on the defense)....don't be afraid to be open :) write more!
What a wonderful compliment! Thank you so much! I think you might see some political fun later!
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